Are Your Career Decisions Actually A Couples Decision?

Opening scenario:
You’re thinking about a career change, a creative project, or a big life shift.
You haven’t even said it out loud yet, but your mind is already running through:

• How will this affect us?
• Will they be okay with it?
• Can we juggle it with everything else?

This is a natural response when you are in a loving committed relationship where the other person may be impacted by the decision you are going to make. In fact, Friday August 8 my husband, Dan who is a relationship expert, psychologist, coach, teacher and writer discussed this on my podcast. We talked about how taking a pause or breath is important and loving.

However, we also talked about how it could also muffle your own voice before you’ve even heard it clearly if you believe your partner's influence or belief is more important than yours.

The counterintuitive insight:
One of the most surprising things I’ve learned coaching women in their second (or third) chapter is this: before you have the big talk with your partner, take a short solo retreat to find out what you want?

I’m not talking about a week in Bali. Even one evening away, with no to-do list and no problem-solving, can give you the space to hear yourself without the constant echo of “we.”

I have found this to be true for myself as well. I remember the summer of 2020, I really wanted to join the program that would certify me as a coach I needed to take a pause. I needed to check in with myself to make sure this was what I really want to do or just something I thought I wanted to do. After my pause of twenty-four hours and sometime in my backyard, I was able to share with Dan what I wanted, and needed so that we could decide if this was something our relationship and family could support.

Why it works:
When you return from a pause of even just twenty-four hours, you’ll feel more grounded and certain of yourself. You will most likely be better at sharing your thoughts, desires and needs from a place of clarity, not from guesses about what your partner might want. That shift alone can change the entire conversation.

Try it with guidance:
If you’d like help creating your own version of this reset, join me for Rooted In You on Monday, August 11 at 7:00 PM PT. In just one hour, we’ll practice a simple grounding exercise, identify the one question your retreat should answer, and create a plan you can actually follow through on.

Because the first step to making a decision with someone is knowing what you truly want—before you ask for their thoughts.

Closing Reflection Question:
If you had 24 hours alone this month, what question would you take with you?

Curious about what I mentioned in today's article?

Visit the podcast conversation with my husband https://www.youtube.com/@cyndithomsencreativecoach/podcasts

Information and to register for the Rooted In You Class August 11 go here