What If You Didn’t Show Up?

Have you ever wondered if sharing your voice, your work, or your truth is just...self-promotion?

If you’re like me, you may have found yourself asking:

• Is this ego?
• Am I just seeking attention?
• Do I really have something worth saying?

But I’ve learned that visibility isn’t vanity—it’s service. And sometimes, the simple act of showing up can change everything.

The Myth of Vanity

When I launched my business, Creating a Passionate Life, I planned an in-person workshop. I poured time, energy, and my heart into preparing—slides, handouts, exercises. As the date approached, only three people had signed up.

My instinct? Cancel it. Spare myself the embarrassment.

But something nudged me to talk to my business coach first.

She asked me one powerful question:

“What if those people who signed up really need what you have to offer—and you don’t show up?”

That landed hard. This wasn’t about me anymore. It was about them.

The day arrived, and only one person came.
Just one.

I could've had an internal pity party. Instead, I chose to be present, curious, and fully engaged with this person, who had shown up.

I asked about why they showed up. What followed was a deep, meaningful conversation—and by the end, they asked if I offered one-on-one coaching.

The coaching relationship that followed led them through a huge life transition.
And if I hadn’t shown up?
None of that would’ve happened.

A More Personal Story

Visibility has also shaped the most important relationship in my life.

During my freshman year of college, I felt completely lost. My campus was twice the size of my hometown, I had no real friends, and a guy I cared about dumped me—on my birthday.

I shared my struggle with a gal I’d casually spoken to in class. She offered to be my roommate the following year. Since the roommate lottery hadn’t worked out, I thought—why not? It couldn’t be any worse.

During move in day in September, she introduced me to her friends, including one guy she admitted she had a crush on. I told her not to worry—I was “giving up boys” to focus on my grades since they had tanked the year before.

You might be able to guess where this is going...

That guy and I became close friends. Then something more.

Today, we’ve been married for over 41 years.

Dan and I are pictured in the banner. The picture at the top of the article is us with our three adult sons and my daughter-in-law at my birthday dinner.

And it all started with one vulnerable moment. A conversation, where I showed up for myself.

The Power of Presence

So I ask you to really consider the following two questions for yourself:

What exists in your life today because you showed up?
And what might not exist if you hadn’t?

These stories—mine and those of my clients—inspired me to create a program called Rooted In You.

Rooted In You is a space for cultivating quiet confidence, clarity, and the courage to walk into any room knowing you are fully aligned to who you are at your core.

Visibility means sharing that—whether quietly or boldly—with the world.

Take It Further: A Reflection Practice

Take a moment—right now, if you can—to pause and reflect.

Grab a notebook, your journal, or even the notes app on your phone. Settle into your seat. Take a deep breath in…and release.

Ask yourself:

Where in your life are you craving to be seen?

Really let that question land.

Write down whatever comes up.

Don’t filter or fix what emerges. It’s showing up for a reason. Honor it.

Then ask:

What would being seen look like in that area of your life?

When you’re done, take a moment to close your eyes again and bring to mind a time you felt joyful, fulfilled, and fully you.

• Where were you?
• Who was with you?
• What were you doing?
• What did you feel in your body?
• Were you seen? Heard? Acknowledged?

If now isn’t the time to dive into this, I invite you to return to these questions later.

As you do so you will be reminded of a time when you have been seen—not because you performed, but because you showed up as yourself and those around you witnessed it with warmth, respect, and love.

An Invitation

If this reflection resonated with you, I’ve created a free Visibility Reflection Journal to help you explore this more deeply. It’s filled with prompts and space to process what visibility means for you—not as a performance, but as an expression of your truth.

You can download it here [Journal], or find it in the show notes of my podcast.

And if you’d like personalized support, I invite you to book a free 30-minute Clarity Call. We’ll talk about where you’re feeling unseen—and what it might look like to step forward, rooted in who you are.

What is Next?

This week on The Creative Connection, I’ll be joined by someone very dear to me—my husband, Dan Thomsen. He’s a Mindful Masculinity Coach, Gottman-trained therapist, and creator of The Path.

We’ll be talking about:
Rooted - Revitalized - and Rising: The Power of Presence is for Renewal and Real Relationships

In our honest and heart-centered conversation Dan and I will explore what it means to reconnect to ourself and each other especially during moments of challenge and how to cultivate relationships rooted in truth, care, respect, and love. 

You won't want to miss it...

Until then—
Keep creating.
Keep leading.
And keep showing up for yourself with courage.