What If You’re Not Behind — You’re Becoming?
Listening to your life, honoring your pace, and choosing courage anyway.
“Nature never rushes, yet everything is accomplished.” — Lao Tzu
Most (sunny) mornings, I sit on my back deck with a cup of coffee and listen to the birds. It’s peaceful. Grounding. A quiet ritual of presence.
On the mornings when my to-do list is already chasing me, that voice creeps in:
“I’m behind.”
About 95% of the time I catch myself with a simple but powerful question:
“Who told you you’re behind?”
Maybe you’ve asked yourself that, too.
Was it your third-grade teacher? A parent? A job description that wanted “ten years of experience” before you’d even turned 25?
Or maybe it wasn’t a person at all—but the whisper you’ve carried in your mind ever since you dared to step off the path and do something bold, creative, or unexpected.
We hear it everywhere:
- “I’m running behind.”
- “I just need to catch up.”
- “I missed my chance.”
But behind what, exactly?
The Timeline That Was Never Yours
For many women—especially those of us between 45 and 65—the pressure to meet someone else’s timeline started early.
Schools rewarded speed.
Culture praised early bloomers.
And somewhere along the way, many of us believed the lie that success has an expiration date.
If you didn’t publish by 30…
If you weren’t leading by 40…
If you didn’t make it by 50…
Then clearly, you missed your shot.
But here’s the truth I’m learning, slowly and deeply:
You are not behind.
You are becoming.
The Detour Wasn’t a Mistake
As an artist and creative soul, I’ve taken a lot of detours. Some were necessary—life shifts, caretaking, health challenges. Others were fueled by old stories that whispered, “You’re too late. Someone else already did it better.”
When I started writing my memoir at 61, those voices were loud.
“Why now?”
“Other people published in their 30s.”
“Who’s going to care about your story?”
But here’s the wild thing:
Taking time didn’t weaken the story.
It deepened it.
Every delay gave the truth more room to breathe. The writing got better. And so did I.
As I settle into the title Courageous, I realize how much courage it has taken to keep going—to persist with the end in sight. The book is set to publish this fall at 64.
The Isolation Trap
I’ve noticed that when life slows down or detours arise, my inner critic gets louder. That “you’re behind” voice turns up the volume. And often… I go silent.
I retreat.
Maybe you’ve done the same.
We wait until we’re “ready” or “caught up” to rejoin the world.
But isolation only magnifies fear and shame.
When I was in fourth grade, I desperately wanted to be in choir or band. I auditioned for both. Afterward, the teacher told me I was “tone-deaf.” I told no one. I shrank and stayed small.
But I wasn’t tone-deaf. I later took lessons to train my ear and even won a contest that proved it.
Still, it wasn’t until I was in my 50s that I truly felt comfortable sharing my musical talent.
The cure?
Connection—not to impress or perform, but simply to be seen.
Some of my greatest breakthroughs didn’t come from sitting alone at a desk. They came from a walk with a friend… a class I almost didn’t take… a simple conversation that reminded me I’m not alone.
You don’t have to be finished to belong.
Becoming Is Invisible Work
Becoming isn’t flashy. It doesn’t go viral on social media.
The though of becoming, reminds me of
The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.
In the story, the Skin Horse explains:
“Real isn’t how you are made... it’s a thing that happens to you.”
Becoming isn’t something you chase. It’s something you allow.
What I’ve learned is that it often shows up in the quiet moments:
- Sitting with my journal and finally telling the truth.
- Listening to my body say, “Not this. Not yet.”
- Daring to show up to the audition, even if I don’t get the part.
Last December, I auditioned for a show I truly wanted. I made the callback—but didn’t get cast. I was disappointed… but I also realized something deeper.
That “no” gave me space to say a deeper “yes” to something else that needed me more.
How is becoming showing up for you?
If you pause and reflect on the last week, month, or year—what’s unfolding beneath the surface? What’s quietly helping you become the person you’re meant to be?
You’re Not Behind — You’re Becoming
If no one’s said it to you lately, let me:
You’re not late.
You will arrive right on time.
Your timeline is not broken.
You are moving at your own sacred pace.
You are in the process of becoming the fullest version of yourself.
You are becoming who you were meant to be.
So don’t disappear. Don’t wait until it’s perfect.
Put one foot in front of the other and journey forward—
One word. One brushstroke. One musical note. One audition.
One risk. One moment of truth.
Let it be messy. Let it be yours.
Your Becoming Doesn’t Have to Be Lonely
You don’t have to do this alone. Consider one small step today to honor your path:
- Join a circle.
- Call a creative friend.
- Share one sentence from your story.
- Book a discovery call with a coach you trust.
Because becoming doesn’t have to be lonely.
And your time is now.
Cyndi offers Complimentary Creative Clarity Calls and offers Circles. Check these out by the link.
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