Conscious Responding: The Power Formula for Love that Lasts

There’s a moment in every relationship when something small suddenly feels big — a tone of voice, a misunderstood glance, a silence that lingers longer than usual.

In that space between what was said and how we respond, there’s a choice. It’s the difference between repeating an old pattern and creating something new.

This week on The Creative Connection, I sat down with Dr. Jeni Wahlig, co-founder of PowerfuLove Relationships and co-creator of The Power Formula — a framework designed to help couples and individuals shift from reactivity to connection. Our conversation reminded me that presence is not a luxury in love — it’s the foundation.

🌿 The Art of Conscious Responding

So often in relationships, we move fast. We interpret, assume, defend, fix. Our nervous systems go on autopilot, replaying old fears or learned patterns.

But what if, in those moments, we could press pause?

Dr. Jeni calls this conscious responding — a practice rooted in self-leadership.  Instead of reacting from habit or hurt, we take a breath, slow down, and choose presence.

When we pause, we give ourselves the gift of awareness.
When we relax, we make space for compassion.
When we open, we invite understanding and repair.

This is what Dr. Jeni calls the Power Formula — a way to transform the micro-moments that define our relationships. Because real love isn’t just built in the big moments of celebration or crisis — it’s formed in the quiet, everyday choices to stay present.

💜 Love as Self-Leadership

One of the most powerful truths from our conversation was this: Love begins with one — with you.

Before we can connect deeply with someone else, we must first cultivate the ability to stay connected to ourselves. This is what Dr. Jeni calls relational self-leadership.

When we lead ourselves with awareness, we become less reactive and more responsive. We learn to notice what’s happening in our body — the tightening, the withdrawal, the flood of emotion — and choose to stay grounded instead of spiraling.

That’s where transformation happens. Not in perfection, but in practice.

🌸 The Power of the Pause

There’s a practice in Dr. Jeni’s work called PRO — Pause, Relax, Open — and it may be one of the simplest yet most profound tools for cultivating conscious love.

• P - Pause: Before speaking or reacting, take one conscious breath. Notice what’s happening inside.
• R - Relax: Soften your shoulders. Drop your jaw. Loosen your grip on being right.
• O - Open: Be willing to see the present moment, your partner — or yourself — with new eyes.

This moment of opening allows for the creation of a bridge. It interrupts the pattern and allows compassion to flow where defensiveness once lived.

As someone who teaches presence and voice, I love how this practice integrates the body with conscious thought. Our voice — literal and metaphorical — becomes clearer when we give our body permission to relax and receive so we can connect with the heart.

🌿 Conscious Love in Everyday Life

Conscious responding isn’t just about romantic relationships. It’s about how we engage with everyone — friends, family, colleagues, even ourselves.

It’s the daily art of showing up fully aware. It allows us to

• Listen with curiosity instead of judgment.
• Take responsibility for our energy and our impact.
• Lean into presence as a guide our actions.

It’s about becoming the kind of person who brings peace into the room, not because everything is calm, but because you are.

💜 Bringing It Home

Next week, I’ll be joined by my husband, Dr. Dan Thomsen, for a special episode on Extraordinary Relationships: Presence, Partnership, and the Practice of Love.

Together, we’ll explore how evidence-based relationship science and embodied presence come together to help couples grow through change, not just survive it.

Because love that lasts isn’t about never falling out of rhythm — it’s about learning how to return, together, again and again.

🌸 Rooted in You: Where Conscious Love Begins

The same awareness that strengthens relationships begins within.
That’s what we practice inside the Rooted In You Winter Circle — a six-week journey to pause, reconnect, and realign with what matters most.

🌿 Begins January 3
💜 Early-bird $297 through November 15
✨ Includes two bonus 1:1 coaching calls with me

In community, we learn what it means to lead ourselves with grace and to love from a place of wholeness.

Because the art of conscious responding — like love itself — always begins within.